nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite
Sex is a lot like science class, you experiment, wear lab coats, Bill Nye is there.
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
oh my god
straight white boy: what are you doing?
me: laying in bed
straight white boy: anything else? ;)
straight white boy: are you sure? ;)
"Catholic schools give you a better education!" I was literally told dinosaurs were made up by scientists to lure me away from god